10 Common Marriage Mistakes

As a marriage counselor, these are the ten common mistakes I see married couples making (in no particular order):

1. They forget God
   • God is the 3rd person in every relationship—don't ignore Him
   • Spiritual bonds are as important as emotional bonds
2. They forget each other
   • They forget the basic needs of the other
   • They forget each wants to be #1 in the eyes of the other
3. They are unaware of or forget the basic need of the other
   • He wants to be significant
   • She wants to be secure
4. They forget to have fun together
   • Shared experiences create bonds
   • Mindless fun is just fun! Having fun is creating memories.
5. They forget to share the load
   • They dump when they should divide
   • The burden is halved when it is shared
6. They look to others outside the marriage for emotional support
   • No one outside your marriage should be in your marriage
   • Constantly looking to others prevents us from looking to one another
7. They are too casual or too conservative with money
   • Money problems can cause a great deal of stress
   • However, investing in your marriage and family is worth it
8. They forget they are on the same team
   • This leads to withdrawing and isolating—which can lead to being secretive
   • They view themselves more as an individual than as a couple
9. They try to have the perfect marriage
   • They idealize marriage
   • They compare their marriage
10. They give up on intimacy
    • Hugging, hand-holding, snuggling becomes less frequent
    • Sex becomes routine and less romantic